After trudging for what seems like hours, we finally reach the end of the walk on Turkey's Flat. I sit down on a rock to have a bite to eat. Only then I notice that I am sitting in a dried-up river full of sharp, jagged pebbles, slightly damp dirt and dew drenched grass from last night's drizzle. Ahead I see tussock that stretches far and wide until spiky moss-covered matagouri bushes take over.
A bit further on, the mountains to the side of me bloom with leafy green trees and colourful mountain flowers just like (more or less scattered) the botanical gardens. The river ahead with pristine water bubbling and frothing, races the tributaries towards the sea, ready to wash away anyone who went too far. And the bridge rattles dangerously as huge 10 ton trucks lumber over the hills.
In the distance I see gigantic snow-capped mountains looming over the valley reaching into the cloudless blue sky. The same can't be said for half way down as fog engulfs almost the whole pass.
"Time to go," says a voice from behind me. In the car I feel tired and exhausted like I could drop to sleep here and now. But one happy thing dawns to my mind just before I doze off; It was the first time I have completed this walk! When I was younger we went barely 100m in, now I have done the whole thing. The last thing I hear is my brother saying "Why is there a Moa sign?" Beside the pub over the bridge. I drop off to sleep.
This is one of my favourite pieces of writing, it draws me in, and I really feel what it is like to be you in this beautiful place, with the sense of satisfaction (and exhaustion) you feel from having completed the walk. It inspires me to go there with my own children one day, when they are older and I don't have to carry them!!
ReplyDeleteNice Scott, I like how you used descriptive talk. I can relate to you because I have done walks very much the same, (I even think that I have been on that walk myself!!)
ReplyDeleteCasper
I really liked what you did to describe Turkey flat. The picture reminded me of when I went to Akaroa. At frist I thought you were taking about a real turkey.
ReplyDeleteElise:
ReplyDeleteGreat piece Scott, I like how you described the surroundings and how you said "The river ahead with pristine water bubbling and frothing" and how you hooked in the reader. this piece of writing really connects to me because I have seen the Moa sign before. It made me feel connected. keep up the good work at intermediate.
Sophie W:
Awesome piece of writing Scott! I really felt connected to this because I have been on very similar walks and afterwards feeling really proud, like you did. I like how you said "Ahead I see tussock that stretches far and wide until spiky moss-covered matagouri bushes take over". That was very descriptive. Thank you for drawing me in, keep up the good writing!
Both:
Thank you, keep up the good work!
Great language it's funny when you realise that your sitting an a dried up river it must have been a tiring walk lucky I didn't come.
ReplyDelete